Death Lives in the Vault of Horror!

Cover of a vintage copy of Tales of the Crypt novel based upon the classic 1972 motion picture that starred Peter Cushing and Joan Collins.

Vintage horror terror tales from the crypt paperback

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Few things in life are more  frightening than a mime, aka a silent clown. So one can only imagine the horror made possible by a supernatural thriller about a mime?

Oh yeah, the true harbinger of evil is The Mime. Forget about running scared from the Devil in a red jumpsuit,  horns and wielding a pitchfork, or hiding from a kid who can “see dead people”, or trying to escape from the bowels of  the Biodome with Pauly Shore and Stephen Baldwin.

From the back cover:

“A girl crazed by torment!

The man who was her lover and the man who was her doctor watched the girl they thought they knew so well, and listened to unimaginably shocking words pouring from her mouth…

How could a girl this lovely be so familiar with such ugliness? How could a creature so light and airy be captive to such dark forces?

You are invited on a journey into evil beyond even the occult – where heartbeats echo in the silence and blood spells out the message of…The Mime.”

The Mime is a supernatural horror novel by Tony Profumo. Scary book about a Mime.

Beware!

I just love the idea of this freakin’ book.

Look out! Is that Marcel Marceau behind you, pressed up against an invisible box?

Scared you, didn’t I?

Heaven Help Us All When The Devil’s Rain!

Yep, that was the film’s tagline. Apparently in Hell making sense is not a requirement.

I love this movie. I cannot stress this point enough. I love The Devil’s Rain.

The Devil’s Rain is one of the grooviest, out-there, horror films ever excreted from the bowels of that wonderfully insane, coke-fuelled decade called the 1970s.

The Devils Rain Paperback based upon the far-out horror film with William Shatner and Ernest Borgnine.

Click for larger image if you dare! That’s Ida Lupino on the cover, trapped within The Devils Rain.

Brief summary (I don’t want to give it all away. You must see this movie!)

The Devil’s Rain stars the great Ernest Borgnine as Corbis, aka “The Goat Demon”, aka a demonic goat-headed figure in a bright red skin-tight bodysuit.

The movie takes place in a deserted Western town called Stanville.

Yes, Stanville. Get it, Stanville…

The movie takes place during the 1970s, but there is a flashback to puritanical times setting up the conflict with Corbis and his followers over a book called The Witches’ Hammer.

Corbis has apparently spent hundreds of years searching for The Witches’ Hammer. Turns out the decent all-American Preston family has been guarding the book. The Prestons are a savvy lot, they hid the book in a hollowed-out chunk of floor beneath an end table!

William “Bill” Shatner plays Mark Preston, a ranch hand who avenges his family against Corbis and the merry gang of Devil worshippers that reside in Stanville.

Yes, Stanville.

A super hairy, ultra-Seventies Tom Skerritt plays Tom Preston, Mark’s scientist brother. TV’s Eddie Albert, star of Green Acres, is a scientist studying ESP and telepathy and whatever the hell else scientists studied back in the 1970s.

John Travolta has a pre-Kotter, pre-Saturday Night Fever appearance as Danny. Who’s Danny? Never mind. You blink and you’ll miss him. So, keep your eye out for the young Devil worshipper with the butt chin.

The legendary Anton LaVey, founder of the Church of Satan, was a consultant on the film and has a brief cameo as the masked man who plays the large church organ.

The movie’s great visual effect occurs when various townspeople melt away into what appears to be gooey pools of multi-coloured candle wax. Awesome!

This is the rare novelization of a cheesy film where the book adds of a lot  important  information and backstory that was left out of the film.

But the book lacks great visuals such as:

  • People dissolving into candle wax
  • Ernest Borgnine with the head of a demonic goat whilst attired in a skin-tight red suit.
  • And the coup de grace, Bill Shatner’s post-Star Trek TOS and pre-T.J. Hooker toupee, er, I mean acting.

This groovy horror film and its super groovy novelization are both highly recommended! A+++

Who doesn’t love 1970s horror movies? Who doesn’t love environmental horror movies? Add the two together and you get the 1979 eco-horror film, Prophecy, starring Talia Shire, Robert Foxworth, and of course, Armand Assante!

This is the novelization of the movie. The book was written by David Seltzer, the screenwriter of said film. He also wrote the screenplay of The Omen (both the original and the Liev Schreiber remake).

Now, when most people hear “eco-horror film” they automatically assume you’re talking about Steven Seagal’s On Deadly Ground. Oh, On Deadly Ground is bad for the environment…the cinematic environment, for sure. But long before Seagal’s ponytail saved the Alaskan wilderness, there was Robert Foxworth’s beard battling genetically mutated monsters…

The plot of Prophecy is so very groovy, man. On the one hand, there are freaky monsters being born due to genetic mutations brought on by “The Man” polluting the waters. On the other hand, the Native Americans are pissed. They are the same type of noble Native American that was popular during 1970s cinema, you know: the mystical, one-with-nature Billy Jack hippie crossed with that Crying Indian from that TV commercial.

Come to think of it, Seagal’s movie also had Natives pissed off by what “The Man” was doing to their environment.

Prophecy is a 1970s era environmental horror film. Very groovy. Very bad.

The real horror? Robert Foxworth’s beard!

Anyway…

The one image stuck in my head is when the bear/monster attacks one of the people who’s in a sleeping bag. The bear/monster swings and swings the full sleeping bag against a tree, killing that poor, unfortunate camper.

Prophecy is great fun to watch with friends whilst drunk. Hell, make a double feature: this movie followed by Mystery Science Theater 3000’s version of Boggy Creek II: The Legend Continues

I watched this movie as a kid. It was one of only four movies HBO used to show back in the day.

Book: B-

Movie: Four out of Five Slices of Cheese!